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Daniil Kharms
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Nasty Character, A

Sen'ka bashed Fed'ka across the chops and hid under the chest of drawers.
Fed'ka got Sen'ka out from under the chest of drawers with a poker and tore off his right ear.
Sen'ka slipped through Fed'ka's hands and, holding his torn-off ear, ran off to the neighbours.
But Fed'ka caught up with Sen'ka and coshed him over the head with the sugar-basin.
Sen'ka collapsed and, seemingly, died.
Then Fed'ka packed his things in a suitcase and went away to Vladivostok.
In Vladivostok Fed'ka became a tailor; strictly speaking, he was not exactly a tailor, because he made only ladies' underwear, principally drawers and brassieres. The ladies had no inhibitions with Fed'ka; right in front of him they would hitch up their skirts and Fed'ka would take their measurements.
Fed'ka, as one might say, didn't half see some sights.

Fed'ka was a nasty character.
Fed'ka was the murderer of Sen'ka.
Fed'ka was a lecherous devil.
Fed'ka was a glutton, because every evening he ate a dozen cutlets. Fed'ka grow such a belly on him, that he made himself a corset and took to wearing it.
Fed'ka was an unscrupulous man: he took money from children he met in the street, he tripped up old men and he terrorised old women by raising his hand to them and, when a frightened old woman shied to one side, Fed'ka would pretend that he had only raised his hand to scratch his head.
It ended when Nikolay went up to Fed'ka, bashed him across the chops and hid under a cupboard.
Fed'ka got Nikolay out with a poker from under the cupboard and ripped open his mouth.
Nikolay ran off with his ripped mouth to the neighbours, but Fed'ka caught up with him and clubbed him with a beer mug. Nikolay collapsed and died.
Fed'ka gathered his things and went away from Vladivostok.